Posts Tagged "comparing"

The Constant vs. The Variable–Which One Are You?

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The Constant vs. The Variable–Which One Are You?

I have a weekly call with my grandparents who live down south. And, as always, my grandmother went on and on about how much she would love for my brother to call her. She told me how she prays and thinks of him often. She swooned about how she loves hearing his deep voice say, “Hi, Grand-MAW”. She reminisced how my brother loved eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as a child. Gag me with a jagged spork! As I hold the phone away from my ear, rolling my eyes, I can feel my blood boil up my back. Here’s the deal, I take the time to check on my grandparents, make sure...

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Natural Birth— How “Dare” I?!

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Natural Birth— How “Dare” I?!

I delivered our son after 16 hours of labor without medication. Up until the last push, the nurses told us that our hospital room was one of the quietest they had ever witnessed. Why? Because it took all of my concentration to focus on what was happening to me. Now, before I continue… do you remember that obnoxious kid in grade school whose eyes got a little wider when they were faced with the treacherous “double dare”? Yeah, I was that child. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have an incessant need to prove myself. It’s a horrible trait and I’m working on it. In my second trimester...

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Women Without Children Are Selfish?!

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Women Without Children Are Selfish?!

(standing in line at Bank of America with S Dot…an older lady stands behind us) Her: Your son is so handsome! Me: Aww, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Her: You just don’t see enough women like you having children. Me: <hmm, I’m not sure I like where this is going.> Her: Women get educated and decide they don’t want to have babies. It’s just selfish! Me: <cautiously> I can’t say that I agree. It’s not selfish; it’s their choice. Teller: I can help the next person in line. Me: <Thank God!> I always told myself I wasn’t going to have children. My plan was to move...

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I Have To Stop Comparing Myself…

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I Have To Stop Comparing Myself…

I watched Beyoncé’s beautiful documentary this weekend with my husband. Of course, I could have listened to her talk about motherhood for the full 90 minutes but I’m a bit of a nut that way. As the end credits scrolled, I turned off the TV, brushed my teeth and got into bed. As I was laying in the dark, I felt a pit in the center of my stomach and I was flooded by thoughts racing through my mind. Within seconds I was under a slight weight of sadness. My stomach was in knots. “What the hell is my problem?” <yes, this is how I speak to myself>. And, then it hit me. I was sick with...

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