8 Reasons This Mother Hasn’t Called You

Posted by in Diary | 3 comments

A friend of mine called me on Monday, left me a vague voicemail message, and I did not return her call until Wednesday. When I called, she proceeded to make me feel guilty for not responding as quickly as she expected. She used those sarcastic phrases I have become all too familiar with like, “Well, I know how important you are…” or “Thank you for finding the time to fit me in…”

Since having children, there have been a few times the awful thoughts below have run through my mind. Do I always feel this way?…”Absolutely Not!” Will some of my family and friends be offended?…”Most Likely Yes”! But, the ones that understand me, know that if they “really” need me I’m there, and for the other 10%… “Feel free to leave a message and I will return your call at my earliest convenience. BEEP!”

Here are 8 reasons I haven’t called you:

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
I know you texted me, I responded, then you called me and I didn’t answer. But talking to you on the phone defeats the purpose of texting you in the first place. Don’t force my hand.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
I know you left me a message.  I just finished washing my three boys and laid them down for bed. I have a thumping headache from a grueling day at work. My PMS is starting, and I still need to eat, figure out what I’m going to wear tomorrow, take a shower and fold clothes. This is the first moment I’ve sat down today. If it’s not an emergency, I’m sorry, returning your call is not my first priority.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
Damn you social media. I know you saw me “LIKE” someone’s picture or send a tweet but my three smiley faces was not a sign that I was ready to engage in a phone conversation? As a matter of fact, emoticons are the perfect example of a person who is unwilling to use their words.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
Well, actually I did. I called you as soon as I got in my car to drive home.  This is the quietest 25 minutes of my day, and I called you–but, you didn’t answer. Yes, you called me back, but it was 26 minutes later. 26 minutes later, I’m already entering the house balancing my heavy work bag, my purse and carrying four bags of groceries. 26 minutes later, my ears are filled with the screams of a 4-year-old shouting at his 2 -year-old twin brothers to stop touching him, stop taking his toys…stop touching him (again). 26 minutes later my hands are already elbow deep in Dawn’s dish suds washing whatever remnants of food off plates that one of these children decided they didn’t want to eat. 26 minutes later my wonderful husband is sharing the painstaking details of his day as my mind fluctuates between the horrible day I just had, and the hellish day I have to prepare for tomorrow.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
I know I sound selfish. I’m making this all about me, when it’s you who needs to talk. I feel awful but the fact of the matter is, I don’t have the energy to listen.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
You said to call you when it was a good time, and to be honest, I haven’t found one of those yet.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you.
I truly am, because I think about calling you everyday. It’s to the point that the thought of calling you has become a chore that weighs on mind because of the guilt I feel from not having done it yet.

I’m sorry I haven’t called you…
but I get so few moments of quiet that when I do the only thing I want to do is…sleep.

My diary entry is this, “When did selfish become such a bad word? Sometimes you need time for yourself“.


  1. I can relate to this completely. I’ve actually lost friends (child-less friends of course) because of me not returning their phone calls in what they believed to be an appropriate amount of time. Ridiculous, in my humble opinion. You know that some times I wonder if these fair weather friends have changed their perspective now that they have children of their own.

    • If I were a betting woman, I would say, “Hell Yes, their opinion has changed! It’s real in these parenting streets, and once you drive a few times around the block the neighborhood looks a hell of a lot different!!!

  2. Preach mama, preach!

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