When The Juggler Falls

I’m a juggler. I pride myself on being able to handle multiple tasks and not drop one. The key is staying as emotionally stable as possible. As long as I don’t FREAK OUT, I can juggle all day and not break a sweat. But, a few weeks ago, everything crashed around me.

I was not feeling well throughout the month of February (hence the sporadic postings…sorry!).  Last year, I had my thyroid removed, so I am often tired but I take B-12 supplements to help maintain my energy. We are currently in the middle of selling our home and trying to purchase a new one, which means numerous “showings” with very little notice and this is all in addition to having an energetic 18 month old son and a full time job. I had been physically drained for weeks. I was out of it.

One weekend my husband decided that we needed a date night to try to lift my spirits and reconnect. As we sat in the restaurant the room started spinning. I never get dizzy, but here I was holding on to the table with my eyes closed.  I turned to my husband and immediately started crying. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks; exhaustion, emotional, dizzy—I’m pregnant!

PS. This isn’t my actual test but you get the point.

My husband and I stopped at the grocery store to pick-up a test. I could not believe I was actually walking down an aisle to purchase a test that will determine if I am going to bring ANOTHER child into this world. Everything around me seemed brighter, which I believe is the first sign of a stroke. Oddly, my husband was walking five steps behind me, as if the distance from my womb buffered the shock.

Later that night, after placing S Dot to  bed, I went into the bathroom and had the most important pee of my life, and within seconds (just like the box said) our fate was determined. My husband walked in and with a smirk he uttered, “That is the strongest purple line I’ve ever seen. It’s so purple it’s black!”. He was right, it was as if the test was screaming, “NO NEED FOR A SECOND OPINION DARLING! YOUR ASS IS SUPER PREGNANT!”

My diary entry is this, “OMG!”