Party of Five

Posted by in Diary | 2 comments

When I found out we were going to be a family of five, I just knew I would be viewed as ghetto when people saw three toddler boys trailing behind me as we traveled throughout our city. Maybe it’s because I was raised in the hood and the stereotype was “if you see a young woman with more than two babies you assume she is trying to beat the system and force tax payers to take care of her children.”

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I’m no “Octomom”!

I know you may find this ridiculous, but the sense of embarrassment I felt was real. I thought I was pregnant with our second child, not twins! What can I say? Sometimes the foolishness we hear from our past still haunts our future.

Granted, I am blessed to have a loving husband, and we both have sound careers and we pride ourselves on taking care of our family, but the idea of raising more than two children was a hard pill for me to swallow. I felt the need to wear a shirt that said, “I didn’t ask for three kids, God just decided to super size me.”

I remember calling my girlfriend in hysterics.

Me:        I’ll  never be able to take them to an amusement park. Five is an odd number and I don’t want one of my boys sitting next to a stranger.

Friend<side eye>

Me:        I prefer booth seating in restaurants, a family of five can’t sit in a booth—not without the mother being denied the opportunity to enjoy her meal.

Friend: <shaking head> <side eye>

Me:        I’m too fly for a minivan, but these car seats are so damn big we will be forced to trade-in.

Friend:  <rolling her eyes>

Me:        And who the hell wants to babysit three children overnight ?!?! These kids are my blood and half the time I don’t even want to watch them. My husband and I won’t be able to take a vacation alone for another 18 years.

Friend: <hangs up the phone>

Okay, maybe I’m crazy. I am not the first person in the world to have more than two children as one friend couldn’t help but remind me.picking-cotton-600x300

Her:       Gurl, back in the day our great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents had 10, 12 & 15 children.

Me:        Umm, our great-great-grandparents didn’t have children out of love, it was a necessity.  I am (on the other hand) a modern day “salary employed” woman. I didn’t have children so they could help me pick cotton and harvest  sugarcane in the blazing sun. I had them for a tax write-off.

Her:       <hangs up the phone>

My diary entry is this, “I have two arms and three children; don’t judge me if it freaks me out sometimes.”

2 Comments

  1. I am a family of 6 and even though it was by choice, I freaked out a bit when it actually happened! When I am out, I do wonder about what people are thinking, and truthfully some of them do look at us like we are crazy. I had to get over the feeling of embarrassment and accept that we are not the norm, but that God has blessed us with 4 beautiful children and we need to cherish them. As my doctor put it one day, people judge us because they cannot handle what we can and secretly wish they could! Hahaha. On a positive note, we have had people come to us and say what a beautiful family we have, so not everybody is looking down on us! 😉

    • Kathleen,

      I can not tell you how much I appreciate you sharing this. Often times I write these diary entries preparing for everyone take this “moral high ground” and judge me for my thoughts. But, there is nothing more rewarding than speaking honestly of my fears and doubts and know that there is at least “one” person out their who has experienced similar emotions and they came out on the other end improved. You give me hope!

      Thank you for supporting MOD!

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