Dear Breasts: A Mommy’s Open Letter

Posted by in Diary | 6 comments

“teenage me…”

Dear Breasts,

We’ve been avoiding eye contact, and I know it’s been awhile since we last spoke. Recently, we both said some things we didn’t mean. I guess we’ve always had a difficult relationship. As a teenager I put pressure on you to be someone that you weren’t in order for me to keep up with the other faster growing girls.

I apologize for the time my mother caught me smearing you in Hellman’s mayonnaise because my friend Amber Scott told me this was the best way to make you grow.

Needless to say, we were unable to make potato salad that night. It wasn’t until college that I respected who you were as individuals, but by then I was in a battle with my butt and hips to show some initiative and “help a sista out”.

“I was never meant to be curvaceous as Beyonce or Serena Williams…”

Now that I’m older and a little wiser, I understand that by sheer genetics I was never meant to be curvaceous as Beyoncé or Serena Williams, but you would have to admit we did pretty good with what we had in our 20’s.

I know you were just as tired of hearing my mother tell us, “Baby, stop rushing your body. When you start having babies you will get the hips and breasts you want.” What the hell type of payoff is that? “Here’s that new cup size and full hips you ordered, with a side of responsibility and protective fear that you will have to shoulder for the rest of your life. We thought we’d super size that for you.”

Well, breasts here we are. You exclusively breastfed for three months, than you exclusively pumped for 10 1/2 months, and look at you. You are a shell of your former self. Where’s that “pep” in your step? “Perk Up Damnit!!!!! You look so sad, why the long face?!” We went from the high floating helium balloons you see at the start of the bash, to the sagging, withered air filled latex you find long after the party is over.

“The day after my oldest son’s birth”

That is it breasts, we are taking a stand! I’m not going to have you moping around here any longer. Get up, we have work to do. As they say in the Army, “We Leave No Man Behind”. You’ve been with me from the beginning, so I don’t care how many Chest Flys, Wall Presses, or Push-Ups we have to do, I am going to lift you up and as God as my witness you are going to claim what is rightfully yours, a full and happy 34-C cup!

Sincerely,

Mommy

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6 Comments

  1. Preach! I was a 34A even at age 37. I didn’t need a bra for support. I wore a bra for the padding! After having a baby, I was a 36C… woohoo! Now, I’ve been breastfeeding for 20 months (four more to go). I am back down to a generous 34A, but those once perky girls are now… just… there. Mind you, they look fabulous if my son hasn’t nursed in six hours! What is a mommy to do? Oh… and don’t get me started on losing my godonka donk! My biggest asset (see what I did there) is vanishing right before my husband’s eyes!

    • “My biggest asset”…I love it! Noelle, you just made my night. Not that I’m happy about your current situation, but the fact that I’ve found another woman who can find the humor in it. The word on the street is that after breastfeeding there is hope—->http://www.searchhomeremedy.com/home-remedies-for-increasing-breast-size/. But really, at the end of the day, you will have breastfeed for a full year! Hat’s off to you momma, that is well worth the sacrifice!

  2. So it’s not just me. I can remember being the low double letters as an early teen and gradually moving up the alphabet and wishing I had breast like my mom. She told me she didn’t get them until after children. Well now I have her body and the alphabet has doubled again. Be careful what you wish for. I’ve seriously asked my husband about getting a lift several times. Last time I asked he asked me how much I think it woul costs. Should I laugh or cry.

    • MJ, I can not thank you enough for saying this. I left that part out of my post only because it was getting too long. Much to the dismay of many of my friends who thought I was above physical augmentation, after a few weeks of looking at myself in the mirror, I was on the internet Googling breast lifts. I convinced myself that it would only be vain if I got implants 🙂 After my craziness subsided, I started to listen to other trusted mothers who told me that a lift doesn’t do much because it doesn’t change the texture. But, there are exercises you can do to re-build the muscle. And, I can tell you that after a few months you will naturally start to see changes. Give them time.

      PS.
      Splurge on GOOD BRAS. They help! I consider it a reminder to my breast of what I expect from them. 🙂

  3. Love how you write. I hope one day when you have that girl 😉 you can share these stories/life experiences with her. I may not comment on your diary entries, but I really enjoy how you share your thoughts and paint pictures with your words.

    • Do not jinx me like that! If I ever have a girl I am sending her to live with you. Ronnie, I can not tell you how much I appreciate you even taking the time to leave a message like this. Just knowing that you are out there supporting me is worth a million positive comments!!

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