6 Ways Having a Dog Does Not Compare to Raising Children

Posted by in Diary | 2 comments

Today, I found myself sitting in a meeting surrounded by recent dog owners. I listened as they gushed over their new pups. The conversations swirled around me, “I told my son he’s gonna have to walk him.” “The dog plopped on our bed at 4 o’clock in the morning.” “I went to pick-up the poop and realized I forgot the bag”. They relished in their new responsibilities. Then, it happened. One of the dog owners exclaimed, “Well, I guess we know what it’s like to have children!” <record scratch>

Cute-Dog-dogs-13857490-500-341Seriously?! The casualness in which animal owners, without children, compare their lives to those raising a child, is getting out of control. Even if you say, “Well, I know it’s not exactly the same. I’m just saying I can relate.” No, you can’t. You know why, because parents have the whole “parenting thing” on lock. It’s an exclusive club. And, if you’re confused about membership, below are six distinct ways having a dog is nothing like raising a child.

Number Six

It’s a FREAKING dog!

Number Five

The flexibility of easily leaving your house alone goes out the window once you have children. I can’t leave my sons in a cage for 6 hours while I go to work. Well, I could, but I would be writing this from my jail cell.

Number Four

As a nod to number five, people are quicker to watch your pet, than your children. I was speaking to a father of three who told me that he and his wife were planning a trip to Jamaica. His neighbor was quick to offer to watch his dog and feed their bird. Even his mother-in-law called and said the pup could stay with her, she would enjoy the company. His response, “I’m not concerned about someone watching these pets, I need someone to watch these kids!”

Number Three

It is reported that the cost to raise a child until the age of 18, is roughly $250,000+. That’s per child…in a TWO PARENT household. Yeah, I’m just gonna leave this right here.

Number Two

There’s a difference between “delivery” versus “delivery”. Dog owners can go online and do their research before venturing to the kennels to find the perfect breed of dog that matches their lifestyle. Guess what, no amount of research prepares you for carrying life for 9-months. Hell, the second time around I carried two lives at the same time. In the end, a baby does not arrive in a dog carrier wearing a bow around his collar, my new little addition was delivered through a very small area within my nether regions.

Number One

As as dog owner, do you get on your knees at night and pray that God protects your animal. Do you ask God for the strength you need to raise him to live to his full potential and make a lasting contribution to his society?  Do you pray that your dog meets someone who will love and cherish him long after your gone? Do you lose sleep due to the worry and the sacrifices you’ve made? Well?! <I’ll wait>

cruellaBefore you label me as “Cruella”, please know that I love animals, and I love to see the joy animals bring to a person’s life. But, enough is enough with the comparisons.

My diary entry is this, “Don’t allow your new joy of owning a pet to confuse the reality of raising a child. It’s insulting.”

PS. No animals were harmed during the writing of this diary entry.

Did I capture them all? Please let me know if there were ways that I missed. Leave a comment and stay in contact:
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2 Comments

  1. This is so true. I have kids, ” one set of twins” and a 13 year old all girls. I also have two dogs. There is no comparison. Like you said with dogs you can go to the store, on a date, etc… Kids, gotta get grandma over to watch them. Or if I do let my 13 year old watch the little ones I have to hurry cause I know I’m coming home to mess and lots of “telling on each other”. God help those that decide to have kids cause their puppy is so “fun” ugh!!!

    • First, did you say, “ALL GIRLS”?!?! #HatsOff
      I had to laugh to myself, thinking about walking through the door to everyone snitching on each other.
      But, Patricia you have point. If someone out there decided they wanted to have children because they love their dog. They’ve got another thing coming!

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